Sweetest dream of life

2011-06-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

I have moved to

http://hopeyluv.tumblr.com

2011-06-04T17:53:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAY MAY ! :)

First stop was at my house

We headed down to T2, which is timbre at Art house.

2011-04-06T05:40:00.000+08:00

Hi Peeps! Miss me not? Sorry for being sucha inactive blogger.

Results is out. Guess how well did I do? Im sorry to tell you, I failed all my modules. But Thank God that I could continue studying in my course. Though my gpa now is damn low. It kinda made a big mark on me that Im not gonna take any more F anymore!

F just go away! Okay. Mr Pang said they went through alot alot alot alot of trouble to let me stay on. I sincerely thank all of them.

Im still working at Timbre. Hows your holidays ppl! Im not exactly enjoying fully though.

I just came back from D'camp! Im loving it!! :):) Its one of the best camp I ever had! :) Not all pictures are with me. Will post some soon :) 2 nights of not sleeping during the camp was really worth it. :) Because the video was great.

The video might be in club crawl! :) So.. Do please go to the club crawl. See what the Team NYP can do! :) I can't believe if the video is in club crawl! Done by Hope and Dom. Omg! But obviously, without the campers, helpers and facis, there won't be any photos to show.
Without the photographers, John, Joan, Dom and me. There won't be any photos to show too.
Without the taking videos and spending sleepless nights to combine everything. There won't be such a great success.

Okay, I sincerely thank all the D'campers. It really touches me when you guys waited for us for 3 hrs just for us to finish the video. I was really wanting to cry when you guys were cheering. Cause firstly, Im really tired. I didn't really survive 2 nights without sleep. Secondly, you guys were just so optimistic and cheering and saying its alright. Thank the helpers to keep the campers busy and thinking of impromptu games to keep them waiting for 3 hrs.

Just made me feel all these are just worth it :)

Really love you all. Can't wait to see you guys at Club Crawl.

Edmund Ooi! The design is nice! Keep it up! :)

D'camp made my week. :)

2011-03-14T04:51:00.000+08:00

Thinking up my wishlist.

Okay I know its inappropriate at this period of time.
But its time to think for my future.

Cousin asked: Are you able to apply to SIT?
Its more for media right?

I said: I doubt so.

She said: Furthur your studies. Check it out. Need go uni just go.
I was like okay. Crap. How to go ??

My results so lan!

Okay wishlist:

Driving license (maybe i just go for auto) Since nowadays cars are auto.
DSLR ( I still haven choose yet. Cousin going hk during June. Got to get my resources)
IMAC ( I calculated the one that i wanted is 4k plus) Best of both worlds.
Iphone ( getting on Tuesday. FINALLY!)
Ipod touch ( Its a gift)
Ipad ( For my niece and nephew, hope to get it soon )
A wallet. ( If I could afford a LV or what! )
New bag ( most probably charles and keith. Not getting burberry or LV)
New clothes! ( I need to change my whole wardrobe! )
New table for my IMAC!
New cupboard
A new mirror! if not its not a girl's room
Ukelele! :)

I think thats all for now. I cant think of anything. But I just know I wanna change. I wish i have 10k falling on me just to get these stuff..
Aiming for it!

2011-03-11T06:39:00.001+08:00

You know, if you come to my blog often. You would noticed that I changed my song. Its no longer faithfully.

Well, I really want things to work out. But I guess Im a little too desperate or too scared or whatever.
Im not myself. What do I mean? Im doing things that is not right to me I guess.
I really don't know whats got into me.

You know, you just wish someone. Just this someone. Hold you tight and never let go. Telling you how impt you are and all.

But this time, Im having the same nightmares every night. Sorry, no one to be there to comfort me. No one is there to say, "Hey, everything is going to be alright!"
And every night, God knows why, I felt like hating myself so damn much.
I just wish that I didnt exist. What happened to me? I really don't know.

I don't wanna do anything. Or talk to anyone. Sorry. I guess. Im best alone. With no friends.

______________________________________________________________________

I really hate to let this moment go, touching your skin and your hair falling slow,
When a goodbye kiss, feels like this

[chorus]
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
Don't you wanna hold each other tight,
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight,
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay

Let's take it slow I don't want to move to fast,
I Don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last,

When your off this cab, It's a sad goodbye.......

[chorus]
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
Don't you wanna hold each other tight,
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight,

Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay

Oh yeah!!!
Oh it feels so perfect baby..
Don't you wanna stay here a little while..

[chorus]
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
Don't you wanna hold each other tight,
Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight,
Don't you wanna stay here a little while,
We can make forever feel this way,
Don't you wanna stay

Don't you wanna stay.....
Yeah Yeah Yeahhh
Yeah Yeah Yeahhh

2011-03-10T06:04:00.002+08:00

I think after all the things. Im not ready for serious one i guess.

Fairytales might have happened here and there.

But I guess love is just not meant for me.

Sorry love, I don't trust or believe in you anymore.

2011-03-10T04:23:00.002+08:00

I think I have found another you. But I thinking I might lose the same you again.

___________________________

Hope that YR's mum would go through. :)
Please Lord, bless them and give them the strength they needed.

______________________________________________________

Its a second time I felt im a useless friend.
I totally know how she feel.
Knowing that you might lost someone you love.
Who could relate to that than me?

______________________________________________________

If sacarsism its your forte, stay away from me.

______________________________________________________

Sometimes, your in situations that you felt you gonna do stupid decisions that you gonna regret for life.
And thats what Im doing.

Im not myself anymore.

2011-03-02T02:34:00.000+08:00

3 kinds of people makes your world goes wrong.

1. Being too possessive or controlling.
2. Being too hot and cold making someone all confused.
3. Being just all sarcastic and you don't know what to do/say next.

Okay, I think its just my world. Im sorry. Hoping that someone who could connect to me. Really?

2011-03-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

Hey. I just realised that people who were reading my blog are more than I ever imagined.

Well, have you felt that sometimes you know that you are doing something you don't like but you just do it for some reasons you gave yourself?

Or you did it even though it was wrong? Does it sound familiar in your life?

I think it does and its haunting me. I don't know what to do. What's next?
When you start to think what you really want and you got no answer.

Everyone seems to like having a full go and knowing what they want.
I felt like Im a useless girl waiting to be picked up by hopefully some rich prince to let my life going.

I don't know whats my future now.
What's more, I can't seem to find anyone to share anything now.

I think I shouldnt be thinking too much.

2011-02-28T03:44:00.000+08:00

Weak is my status now.

I miss those times we hang out at cathay.
Toning out late like our second home.
Going over your house and sleepover.
Mini Slumber party at my house.

I miss those laughters we had.
The irritating voice I made. *Meow*
I don't know how to make it right already.
I don't know how to start a conversation anymore.

In the midst of transitions, I guess someone brought me a smile.
Someone who said I got a million dollar smile. :)

Gonna watch M5 with Martin. Can't wait.
Though I cant watch Santana. But I bet he is gonna be good.
I can't wait for John Mayer to come to Singapore.
Switchfoot is coming too.
This yr its like the best yr for celebrities! The famous ones all are here.
I miss John Legend. :( Didnt get Timbre tickets.

Today is the last week of SP.
One more week with DVE ppl.
Hang in there. 9am to 6pm is gonna be over soon

But not for me :(
FYP is the next next monday.

Well, thanks Candy girls for always being there for me in class. :)
Your words brought comfort to me. Will never forget it! :):)
Love you girls lots.

2011-02-24T00:38:00.002+08:00

Doesn't see your fb profile doesn't mean your not important or I don't care abt you anymore.

Ah. Nvm.

You wouldnt understand.
To you, Im so not a caring best friend.
To you, Im a disappointment.
Just cause of a stupid mistake I made.
And not thinking of seeing your profile within your stay in hospital.
So dumb of me right?
Yeah. Kill me.

Thanks Pam. For always stalking me. LOL! I know your reading this!

Im like tell you stuff you always say. I know! =.= HAHAH!

Stop stalking! :P

See you tomorrow in school!

2011-02-23T02:26:00.000+08:00

Im on the verge on going crazy.
Seriously crazy. Can anyone stop me?

I cant control myself anymore.
Why didnt I just stopped by at your wall?

Biggest mistake.

I hate myself.

Don't talk to me again.

2011-02-22T23:29:00.001+08:00

Now it seems so hard to speak to you again.
Im sorry I wasnt being a best friend.

Be it in anywhere I go.

Im sorry that I was so caught up with my proj that I didnt checked on you.
But if I had knew that you were in hospital, I would have rushed down.

I tried contacting you but it wasnt hard enough. But Im afraid what you gonna say.
That moment you just stunned me saying dont say you will be there when your not, I got total lost.
I don't know what to do next I guess.
Now I came to think of it, I felt like I don't deserve the word best friend anymore.

After that incident, Im like a stalker stalking you everywhere.
But I felt that I couldnt fit in anymore.
You have Sophie, Celeste, Chloe and Liwin.
It seems like I don't need to be there, it doesnt matter to you anymore.

Everytime I see you on msn, I felt like saying something.
But I just don't know what to say.

Its my biggest mistake.
Im sorry. I should have tried harder.

Time being now means wait for you to cool down.

I think, we really went crazy without each other.
A lesson learnt for me.
Im sorry, bestfriend.

2011-02-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

To tell you, I seriously don't know whats wrong. Doesnt mean I don't think anything is nothing wrong.

If you are not gonna tell, whatever i say or do. You just not gonna do. You know it yourself.
I called you, you hung up on me.
I fb msg you, you don't reply.
I msn you, you ignored me.

So does he. I msn him. He don't reply.
Okay. So whats now?

If this is what you wanna be, i will just let you.
For the time being I guess.

I had not catch a wink and Im trying to survive my SP.
Vomitted like damn lots today. Almost died in pain. But still dragged myself to school.
Not gonna eat much these days.
And we should stop pinic-ing. Its like every yr SP we always eat and eat. LOL!

Thanks A for hanging there till morning with me.
Its great knowing you and chatting with you! :)

2011-02-21T03:52:00.000+08:00

Have you heard of friendship crisis? I think Im facing one. Its not a good thing. Sometimes when you have any miscommunication or any conflicts, people tell you, you got to fixed it fast if not it would be over.

Well, I got to tell you. Yeah you did. You did it fast. But if another party doesnt even try. Its bad.

Okay shall not say that much if not its worst. Im not good with words. If you know me well enough, when in terms of quarrel or situations I tend to be at the losing end.

Things that happened btw me and YL and lots of other examples.

Okay.

Thats it.

Er.. 2 more weeks! DVE is splitting. Some will be flying to LA, some to vietnam ( which I doubt so ),
some having modules ( one of them is NE =.=) Some will be having attachment at different companies, while some.. having FYPJ ( dead! )

So, I am one of them. That is doing FYPJ! After an intense 3 weeks Studio Project. Extended to 3 mths project and no break.. No no no no.. BREAK!

Cause after which its my attachment. Then 2 weeks break i guess. I don't know how long.

And then its my modules. I don't know how many modules are I repeating.
Jia you DVE. I love you guys.

2011-02-19T14:56:00.001+08:00

Okay. Im really having a hard time in my life.

Firstly I felt im not inside my grp. Even though I really trying very hard to be involved and doing everything I can. But ppl just don't see it.

I lost my phone. Got lost contact with all my friends and all.
Yeah screw me. Im on the verge of killing myself. Like seriously.

Secondly, the people who are closest to me. I kinda screwed it up.

Alright Seriously, Im out of social stuff.

Im not a good friend. Im not there when you needed me.

So just. lets not talk. Im withdrawing from all social. Like seriously.

No FB, No Twitter, Less Msn. ( still need to do work )

It just hurt me so much knowing I could be there but I wasnt.
Sorry, I really didnt know that you were in Hospital, on drip.
Im really really sorry.
I hope your doing fine.
Just felt that this 10 yrs friendship. Just gone like that. In a night.
And its all my fault.

This year had been really hard on me. I went through so much so so so much.
Just to hold on that little hope.
And it just get worst. Freak.

2011-02-14T23:57:00.001+08:00

For the next 3 weeks, do follow us at this webbie. I think i would be too tired to blog :)

2011-02-11T01:00:00.002+08:00

A smile upon your face its like my world filled with lights again :)

2011-02-07T18:52:00.000+08:00

This might be the last post on this blog.
Becos of some issues of account password stuff..

Hows your CNY going?
Mine wasnt that bad :)
Everyone is moving on as a couple.
Well, first day of CNY met up with someone.

And I enjoyed! Cause I felt so motivated to study. :P
Well, sometimes I just wish that there is just this person who treats me as i am.
Love me and have a status if things go furthur.
Thats all I felt.

2011-02-05T01:19:00.001+08:00

Happy CNY! I loved every single moment with you :)
You brought a smile to my face. :)

Its great to felt loved by family and friends once again.

I missed MOU YAN RAN!
I can't even contact her. Wonder how is she :(

2011-02-02T02:44:00.001+08:00

Tuesday:

Went out to celebrate Joe's birthday.
Great fun and company.
FINALLY KTV! I missed it so much! :)
Gonna head to bed. Thanks everyone for tuning in :)

2011-01-28T03:43:00.000+08:00

I had one of my greatest night. :) I dunno how he felt. :) But yeah I felt really happy.
Forgetting everything and sharing all my stuff :):)

Met Ben at that stupid 144 steps to go Old School Timbre.
Like almost everything 86 :(:(
BAD BAD BAD! And 53A was playing :) It felt great.

After which, we went to Substation. Where I felt so much at home.
Sorry no photos. Cos its all with him.
I look damn cui. Now I cant sleep. :(

Waiting for Val to come over later. :)
I miss her! Like really alot! Cant wait. :)

2011-01-26T04:39:00.000+08:00

I know it sounded quite crazy but I had been talking to this one person.

We had all the same hobbies? Same kinda of interest.
Talking to each other only through fb msg.

But kinda cool to know someone that have the exact same hobby as you :)
Yeah you know right. EXACTLY the same.

If you dunno it. Its guitar and photography. :)
3rd one, you wouldnt know it. :)

Okay stop procrastinating. I got to go back to work :)

Oh, by the way, does anyone could get isms for symbian phones?? :(:(

2011-01-26T04:37:00.001+08:00

I can't believe im awake at this unearthly hour studying maths and dynamics.

I think I got a little too many babies at work. Haha.

Nah. Im Jay's gf :) Okay. Im lesbian now. HAHAHAHA!
Can you believe it?

2011-01-24T16:29:00.001+08:00

Hey readers,

You guys must be wondering how did the meeting go?
I was too emotional and cried in front of director.

Okay, this is what he said:

Don't be like an ostrich saying im dying im dying. Cause that ostrich kept looking into that black hole.

Key is: Do something now. :) Which I have very little time to. 2 more weeks.
ALL ASSIGNMENTS MUST BE HANDED IN!

He also said that my marks are commentable. Which is a good thing and he felt that maths poke a hole in my confidence. :(

Yeah it sure did.

Okay, enough of blogging. Im shagging myself out. Got to start work alr.

CHIONG HOPE! CHIONG!

2011-01-24T12:43:00.003+08:00

Did a personality test. Does it sound like me?

_____________________________________________________________________________

"Where's the party?" ESFPs love people, excitement, telling stories and having fun. The spontaneous, impulsive nature of this type is almost always entertaining. And ESFPs love to entertain -- on stage, at work, and/or at home. Social gatherings are an energy boost to these "people" people.

SPs sometimes think and talk in more of a spider-web approach. Several of my ESFP friends jump from thought to thought in mid-sentence, touching here or there in a manner that's almost incoherent to the listener, but will eventually cover the waterfront by skipping on impulse from one piece of information to another. It's really quite fascinating.

New! ESFPs are attracted to new ideas, new fashions, new gadgets, new ______. Perhaps it's the newness of life that attracts ESFPs to elementary education, especially to preschool and kindergarten.

ESFPs love to talk to people about people. Some of the most colorful storytellers are ESFPs. Their down-to-earth, often homespun wit reflects a mischievous benevolence.

Almost every ESFP loves to talk. Some can be identified by the twenty minute conversation required to ask or answer a simple factual question.

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Sensing

The dominant function of ESFPs is concerned with the reality that is perceived through the senses. This type's prime directive is to examine the tangible through taste, touch, sight, feeling and hearing. ESFPs' need for new experiences surely results from this function. Feeling gives focus to the collected information, producing the amiable nature of this type. As perceivers, ESFPs do not linger on moral concerns unless it is in service of a Greater Good and/or a unifying cause.

Introverted Feeling

Feeling, which tends to decision-making in the interest of individual beings, is auxiliary to sensing. As with all introverted functions, feeling for ESFPs has a surreal, cryptic, quintessential nature. It is more often implied than verbally expressed, more apparent in countenance and deed rather than word or creed. Feeling takes care that playful pokes and pranks do no harm to the victim.

Extraverted Thinking

This tertiary function is at the ready to give definitive answers when the world requires them. It provides a measure of balance to Introverted Feeling, allowing the ESFP some level of boundary and protection from those who would take advantage. When overused or overestimated, however, Thinking becomes a liability. ESFPs do well to seek out confirmation of the soundness of tough-minded decisions.

Introverted iNtuition

This function is least visible. As is the nature of the inferior (fourth) function, ESFP intuition lacks a sense of balance. This type seems most successful in deducing patterns and seeing connections only after a thorough examination of the facts (which process appears quite unorganized and haphazard to non-SPs). Although some ESFPs may develop such abilities, the mastery of logic, analysis and abstraction is usually difficult and wearying, and not very much fun.

2011-01-23T12:12:00.006+08:00

Okay, worked at J8. Met the same MC.. Haha!
He super fun to work with man! :):)
I wanna work for him the next time round :)

Oh well, the part timer that was working with him actually was his neighbour.
So cool right? Where got boss like that!
But really fun working with them :)

You guys must be thinking. What kind of job Im working?
Oh. Its the Ipad Challenge thing. You got to beat the highest score in the game "Real Racing".
And you will win something out of it. Its free. :)

Met Delvin awhile. Oh well, anyway.. Was alright.
Oh! After which. Finally met Jiro. Its like...
Dunno how many mths we been saying meet meet meet but didnt.

Finally saw him. A jap looking tall guy. LOL! I bet most girls would like him :)
Followed him to cut hair.
Home.

Tired max.
Thats my day.

2011-01-23T04:40:00.001+08:00

The night be4 went meet up with Jordan for supper.
He fetched me home the next morning :)
Great to have a driver ard. :P

Went Marina Barrage with NYPPC members.
The weather was great. I was practically crazy the whole time.
So sorry that I came late. And left early as I had work at Timbre. :P

The whole day I ate chips and drink soft drinks.

OH! EPIC MOMENT! Shafi just tapped on the coke bottle and it burst!!! LOL!
And today was my first time flying a kite. It wasnt really easy.
I was like a kid today. Being loved, crazy, noisy, blowing bubbles, flying kite.
I am a happy girl! :):)

Thanks Rahim for fetching me to work.
Your great!! :):) If not I would be super late for work :P:P
Okay, today customers were quite friendly and little funny.

As you know my name is Hope.
Customers were all surprised by this name though.
Oh well.. and dirty minded customers were affected by the drink "Blowjob" and Sausage Platter.

You see. There is this shooter named: "Blowjob", or a drink "Sex on the beach", or "Pussyfoot".
How would you order?
Can I have a blowjob? =.= We had an awkward silence, looked at each other. Laughed. Okay.
ITS SOUNDED SO FREAKING WRONG! =.=
And this group of guys were talking about sausage platters and things gone wrong.
Question: How big is the sausages? =.=
LOL! Okay.. Oh well. Fun times at work huh :)

On my way home in company van..
I saw a kitchen staff watching porn in the van. LOL!
Im like OMG! And pretend that I didnt see anything.

Okay, Im gonna be random here.

I WANT A BOYFRIEND! hahahahahaha! :P

OH! MY BABY SPARKY WAS SUPER CUTE!
He told me that he gonna sell porridge somewhere. LOL!
Have you seen a banker selling porridge? HAHA!
Thats my baby! LOL! The moment he told me over the phone.
I WAS LAUGHING SUPER HARD! Hahahah! Cannot imagine.

2011-01-22T09:47:00.000+08:00

Work was quite fun. Not much of a stress. Customers were friendly today.

Although kana molested by Jay a lot of times. LOL..

After work, went to find Jordan :)
For Supper.

Morning, he sent me home.

Now, im down with tireness.
Later got to go Marina Barrage and then work at timbre. Oh tiring day..

2011-01-20T13:29:00.001+08:00

I AM SO TIRED! WITH MAYTZE AND PAM PAM AT LEVEL 6.

RAWR!

2011-01-20T01:56:00.001+08:00

I deleted your websites on my computer. Cause I don't ever wanna see you again.

2011-01-19T03:28:00.000+08:00

Yeah yeah yeah. Im killing myself. Im tiring myself.

Yeah yeah! I know I don't rest Im hurting my body.

I worked and study and tired myself.

Why? Cause everytime I closed my eyes I think of you!

Everytime I close my eyes I tell myself not to think of anything. But I cant.

Your right into my mind. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I CAN'T FREAKING GET YOU OUT!

I struggled every night. Every single freaking day dreaming of you like literally.

I had terrible time. Do you ever understand the root of the problem?
No you don't. Thanks for the word yeah.

Thank God I never dated you. Great! That sentence really hurts me.

Freak. I hate you. I hate myself.
Great job. Im not talking to you.

2011-01-19T02:48:00.000+08:00

I doubt there would be anyone reading this blog. But well, Im still gonna blog.

Alright, the reason why I named myself Hope. Cause I wanted to give hope to others. But I guess I failed. I failed to be hopeful, and to be a hopeful person to others. Well, this is why I regretting now. Nevertheless, I still want to have that passion back to help people.

Anyone who knows me, yeah, Im working at Timbre Substation. Do come down and visit me okay? :)

Well, what else I have got to say?

My timetable is freaking packed. :( School, work, Cca. And I have not been attending church. Thats like really really bad :( Im thinking of staying at my godbro house. Wanna to run away from thinking too much.

Customers can be friendly or demanding. All you have to do is to be smiling all the time.
No matter what happens, just smile.

My brother is coming down to substation on 30 Jan! :) Before that Im heading down to cousin's place for a mini gathering and yeah. Down to work. Gonna see my bro friends.

Thanks Blink for telling the whole world I NEED A BOYFRIEND! Hahah! Its weird that when I go to work. Jay and Melissa come and said: Hey Hope, I heard you want to have a boyfriend.

Im like OMG! LOL! Who tell you that! The only one i know is Blink. RAWR!

Oh well :):) Jay and Blink can be one of my closest friend at work. Love you two :):)

Okay, come to CCA. Apparently, Im in committee now. Which I don't know what role Im taking. But Im in it. Photography is part of me. It has life in me but not that important. The most important its my studies.

Yeah. I miss God. I really do. I got to do quiet time, feel that peace and not going crazy :)

HOPE MUST DO IT! Yeah I must. No matter how hard it is. Im gonna bring the house down!

Signing off.
I miss you, :)
Hope

2011-01-17T03:01:00.000+08:00

Im really happy at my progress now cos I finally got my focus back.

Im really tired myself out.

And the reason why. Its to forget all the bad memories.

Im trying my best to survive, to continue in my studies.

I thank God that I know you guys.

Although we were over or whatsoever.

Although I was a little affected.

But I know that in future, there is this one guy out there.

Just right for me :):)

The time would be right, the feeling would be right.

Everything would be special and we would have our first.

So now. Putting all these emotionally stupid things aside.

Im concentrating on studies and yeah work.

WORK TILL I COLLASPE!

Today really tiring day. Little workers LOTS OF CUSTOMERS!

But well, end of the day everyone worked hard and laughed hard. :)

I know im HOPELESS. But still. Im trying to adapt yeah.

I might not know what they speaking of me most of the times.

I don't wanna care. Cause. I work, i get the money. I just don't wanna care of enemies or whatsoever.

Although starting of the year wasnt so good for me.

But I believe that the rest of the 2011 would be good.

Hoping for that.

I love you Hope. Please ask God for strength to pull everything through.

Hope please be a little hopeful and stop thinking of TYL. Everything would be alright.

2011-01-15T14:51:00.000+08:00

Im so tired! :(:(

So little time to finish what i have to finish!!

OMG! :(:(

I got 4 more weeks to pass my maths before i get kicked out of course.

5 more weeks to finish 2 assignments or 3 assignments.

You know whats the best thing?

I don't even have a freaking partner for 1 of the assignment!

HOW TO DO! Omg~ If im gonna do it alone. I think Im gonna kill myself and yeah. Suicide now.

God, please give me guidance.

Im about to kill myself like literally.

This year didnt start out good.

I think its quite bad year for me alr.

2011-01-14T01:57:00.000+08:00

I got to say. I cant help it but tears did rolled down that chubby cheeks of mine.

I learnt to move on. But heart aches came along. Its okay. I kept in silence for awhile.

Congrats! :) Give me some time to leave you off my mind.

I got to move on and get on with my life.

2011-01-14T00:29:00.001+08:00

I don't want to hear any news from you.

It hurts too much. Way too much for me to handle

2011-01-11T19:36:00.000+08:00

I screwed it up myself.
Im not ready for anything.

Im stucked.

Worked last night, saw Clarissa Yeo!
Like super long didnt see her! :P:P

Then got irritating customer.
Haha! But was fun after all.

School.....
Hand in allllllll my asssignments.
Now need to think how to improve it.

FML = Freak My Life.

HOPE! 1 more yr to go! Just 1 more yr! Don't screw this one up.

2011-01-10T16:38:00.000+08:00

The matters of the heart is never easily solve.

Its complicated.

Time to move on.
Saving money, leaving this world..

Er. I meant this country.

2011-01-10T03:39:00.000+08:00

It's undeniable that we should be together
It's unbelievable how I used to say that I'd fall never
The basis is need to know if you don't know just how I feel
Then let me show you now that I'm for real
If all things in time, time will reveal, yeah

One, you're like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me

And four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one, yeah yeah

It's so incredible, the way things work themselves out
And all emotional once you know what it's all about, hey
And undesirable for us to be apart
I never would've made it very far
'Cause you know you got the keys to my heart

'Cause, one, you're like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me

And four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one

Say farewell to the dark of night, I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the lifeline just in the nick of time

One, you're like a dream come true
Two, just wanna be with you
Three, girl, it's plain to see
That you're the only one for me

And four, repeat steps one through three
Five, make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I'll start back at one

This song, I dedicate it to you and her.
I was a little sad but Im fine.
Thats all Im saying. :)

Well, hows life for your 2011.
Mine was not that good. But I will hang on there.

Debarment meeting on Tuesday.
Mr Pang's words suddenly woke me up.
I did my assignments, but I didnt hand in.
Cos I felt its damn lousy.

He told me, running away when you didnt put things right?
Don't go school = debarment
Don't hang in work = repeat module.
Then I suddenly woke up.
Yeah man, what had I been thinking :(

I got 5 freaking weeks to catch up everything.
First! I got to get my maths done.
COME ON! I GOT TO PASS MY FREAKING MATHS! :(

Worked at Timbre, sent my dear gf off from the airport.
Look at the time! Im freaking not tired. Oh God. :(

Tomorrow maths. I must go.
Thats all.
OH YEAH! I CUT MY HAIR! ITS FREAKING SHORT! hhaahaha!
I think i look quite cui :(

2011-01-08T01:01:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone!

Miss me right? Im here to clean some dust over here. :):)

Im thinking of changing my blogskin.

It still irritates me a lot when I don't have the easy way to upload my photos :(:(

Well, new year resolution would be coming up..

Just a little update. :)

I got A SUPER RED EYE! :(
Having Eye Infection now. :(

Went to take my pay but realised that boss wasn't around you know.
And Boss said he will transfer money to me but he haven't

Went to school to take my maths test.
Thank God I got the test paper somehow before taking it. :)
And I did it within 15 mins. Hope I pass or get an A or smth! :):)

After which meet the XOXO girls for DANZATION 2011! :)
MAY LIM IS PERFORMING!

Since our beautiful, gorgeous sexaye girl performing, how can we miss it.
The dance performance was great.
Of course my dear girl did great.

SHE WAS SMOKING HOT! Will upload some photos :)
But the storyline shocked me though.

To May:

You did well girl. The world will see the passion in you! :)
Jia you for tomorrow's night performance yeah?
You improved a lot. And really hot body that im super jealous :(:(
HAHA! I got to clear my fats first.
Anything, you have us to pull it through together okay?
I LOVE YOU! :)

Danzation makes me wanna learn lyrical hip hop soooooo bad. :(
I miss the feeling of dancing. Feeling the music, catching the beat with a cool simple step.
Dancing in a group that synchronise together. :(

Alright, new stuff got to save up yeah?
Will save up for upgrading my guitar skills and dance! :):)

Shall end here tonight. Update soon :)

2010-12-31T03:22:00.000+08:00

Status now: Hungry, Sicked.

What sickness: Fever, Headache (makes you wanna bang wall), Cough (that lasted me for 1 mth!)

Location: YR's house.

If Im able to walk home now, Im not sure I would faint halfway or smth. :(

Thats all Im blogging. Will say more the next time.

2010-12-25T05:18:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Its a boring christmas. But yeah. Still not that bad.

Not sure why I knew that Joel had other girls.
Feeling abit sad and uncomfortable.

Hmm. Weird weird.

I got good news! Im debt free!
And I forgotten about him alr.

As in the feelings arent really there anymore.
Im happy. Im being set free.
Or I should say that. He doesnt really affect me anymore.
After a hectic night that YR gave me.

I seriously felt he is not worth it. HAHA!
Oops. Im sorry YL. But Merry Christmas to you!

2010-12-22T19:14:00.001+08:00

Okay Im gonna work at Timbre!
I hope all my sadness would go away.
Just listening to the live band.

Smile shall be my weapon everyday.

No matter how bad my life is gonna be.
Im gonna run and smile.

2010-12-22T19:11:00.000+08:00

A lot a lot of things happened.
Happy things sad things and arh.
My emo-ness is on and off.

Im sorry, I can't share it to anyone.
But rest assured I will be fine.

Time will heal all wounds :)

I shall let pictures speak for itself.
Im kinda tired to say what I really feel.
Thanks Readers for staying tune to my life.
Thank you friends who cared so much for me.

Im sorry I failed as a "good friend".
I shall not say anymore.
I got to pick myself up again.

2010-12-15T06:01:00.002+08:00

How many times you have to fight that feeling of missing a person. Someone you love so much.
Someone that you treasure so much and is lost. At the same time, trying to convince yourself your fortunate, you will find someone better.

This is what Im fighting with now. I should say Im trying to occupy myself as long as possible to fight that feeling of sadness, loneliness. Its a bad choice. When you thought you guys gonna happen, in the end its gone. Some people felt its a bad choice. But I felt its an experience.

Maybe something wrong with me. Maybe its just not the right time. Maybe its just not meant to be. There is no exact answers to these. Im not God. I won't know. I asked God, but afraid to hear the truth. Bearing the pain and face the truth.

To the ones who just got into a relationship. Congratulations, last long. Remember be appreciative.
Girls, less jealousy and controlling. Guys, be more initiative and observant.

To those who are in a relationship for quite some time. Remember to keep the fire burning. If you having bad times or relationship crisis. Think back, the first love that brought you two together. The way you guys love, the reason how you guys came so far, keep that fire and walk through the years to come. Hold each other strong and help each other at the same time. Wish you all the best and loving always.

To those who are out or almost getting into it and out. Don't be dishearten. Cause this is the time you will learn how to be a better lover next time for your Mr/Mrs Right. :) Time will heal that broken wound. I believe that myself. Every single day, I pray for my heart to be mend. It did for half of my heart, but another half still can't stop loving. Slowly, bit by bit. By the time its mended, its the time nothing could affect me. His words, actions, who he talk to, what he do would not affect me in anyway. By that time, I would already have a handsome prince. Right beside me, showering me with huge blossom of love, care and attention.

So everyone out there who scared of loneliness. Just remember, your not alone. There is always someone facing the same thing as you somewhere. Someone is near you. Your not alone.

Watch it on Channel 8 show.
" Love is like a cab.
Sometimes they wait for you, sometimes you wait for them.
As long as you wish to wait, your patience will pay off."

2010-12-15T04:44:00.001+08:00

Its 4.37am. Here I am. Wanting to sleep but afraid to sleep.
My rendering is still at Ambient Occlusion Frame 101.
I still got like 5 more hours to finish all the renders.
After which I have to composite them in Shake.

I hope I could finish by 9am.
Im gonna be a zombie sooon.
I thank God for JB and Mr R.
Jia Bao msn-ed me telling me i got to do label passes.
But he said it was hard to explain.

Luckily there is Mr R to help me.
He was like: Im here to bring you back to life.
Don't worry, Im here.
So he taught me how to do through msn.
Step by step. Telling me what to do and whats not.
After which, showing to JB.
JB said need to improvise. HAHA! Im like in a studio project man! Two supervisors.
But thank you guys. Im so touched.
You guys still willingly to help me after so much happened.

Especially Mr R. Your appreciated. :)
Your loved by me! :):)
Thank you for everything!

Mr Pang msged me ask me to faster arrange for our 2 weeks intense tuition.
Gosh! Next week is a week of catching up.
Catching up with old friends, with my school work.
Got to meet Davidz, Amanda, Michelle Loo, Ah Pa, Quack quack.
Not sure abt XOXO clique. Think after the uni students finish their exams.
Hang on there girls. Your loved :)

GOOD NEWS! IM GONNA GET MY IPHONE 4 TODAY! PLEASE LET ME GET TODAY!
I LOVE YOU WORLD! :)

This is what Im suppose to do.
Im sure after the 2 weeks. This standard will go UP UP UP UP!
Yeah man! Im gonna be the same standard like Mr R and JB. haha! :)

2010-12-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

One more moment by Ronin

Don't take too long to say
"I love you" to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away

Out on a clear blue sky,
when lighting strikes on a sunny day,
just take me in and keep me from the rain,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,
with you
Turn around to say goodbye,
with each and every word that passes by,
like a distant memory,
and time keeps slipping away,
and time will turn to grey,
and time will be the one who holds you down,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,

And I want you by my side,
and I need you here tonight,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,
with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad,
Before you even know what's wrong,
and in the end it hits you hard,
please tell me you'll be strong

I dont know how many times I posted this. But I seriously love this song alot!
Dinner with YR, Martin and Eric. Haha!
Got to do my assignments. Not much time to blog. Im sorry. :)

2010-12-13T18:14:00.002+08:00

A Time for Everything

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

Thanks Merman for the verse.

My eldest came back and spoke to me.
He told me Im not stupid. Im not dumb. He told me Im just a little lazy. If I could spend 2 more hours on the computer doing my assignments I could excel. He told me its not too late to catch up. Its not gonna be easy but at least just do it. He told me to continue.
He said: Your giving up on yourself. No one is giving you up. Just spend more time on assignments. Ask Mr Pang to give you private tuition. Make use of your holidays to catch up.

After saying all these, he walked off back to his room.

I thought he was gonna flare up at me. I thought he was gonna say he giving up on me. Oh God. What have I done? Guess its really made to be that I got to continue. Got to hang on there. I cant repeat my year 2. But my attendance have failed. Im still running that race.

2010-12-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

Adrian Loke is so cute and so random. He msn-ed me today.

Asking me how am I doing..

I told him I skipped school until Im on the verge losing my course.

He said: Must be meet bf until like that right?

Me: No, no more bfs please. Im hopeless already.

Don't know how many relationships less than a mth and its over.

I think something is really wrong with me.

He said: Sorry, that I contributed to the pain.

adrian says: (5:10:51 PM)

you know what's wrong with you now? you thinking too much about it

adrian says: (5:10:53 PM)

adrian says: (5:11:04 PM)

then again, thats something wrong with a lot of ppl also

adrian says: (5:11:05 PM)

including me

Hope says: (5:11:23 PM)

haha. why do you say so

Hope says: (5:11:24 PM)

LOL

adrian says: (5:11:39 PM)

because you think about it, you feel more demoralized

adrian says: (5:11:48 PM)

then when you're demoralized, you make a lot of bad moes

adrian says: (5:11:50 PM)

moves*

adrian says: (5:12:00 PM)

which causes a lot of bad things to happen

adrian says: (5:12:21 PM)

which can jeopardize whatever you set out to do

Ah.. I think so. I think I think a little too much. Hmm. Something I got to change too.

Thanks boy. :) Haha! We used to have so much fun together.

But yeah. All was the past. But no regrets knowing you :)

2010-12-13T17:11:00.000+08:00

Thank you for encouraging me with this song.

Music brings strength to me :)

This meant so much to me right now.

Marina Carey- Hero

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are

There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
And you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold

You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Oh ho, Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yea

Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time, you find the way, hey

Then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

That a hero lies in you
Mmm, that a hero lies in you

2010-12-13T17:02:00.001+08:00

I had lots of thoughts as 2010 is ending and 2011 is starting real soon!

Find a kind of guy I like:

1) Confident

(Walking hunchback is a no-no for me)

I need someone to know what they want.

Think for the future.

2) Looks

Handsome is a bonus, average is alright :)

3) Size

Hopefully taller than me like 170 plus (Cause later our kids all shorties and gonna blame us. LOL!)

Fat or skinny also can. Cause I had both kind before.

4) High self-esteem

NOT SO HIGH! Enough to tell me Im handsome and your pretty. HAHA! GEEZ!

5) Cologne

Im attracted to guys who use cologne. Haha! Don't ask why, I don't know it myself. I just love the smell of cologne. Its so nice that it makes me wanna smell them again and again. Okay, it sounds wrong.

6) Decisive

Please! I need a decisive guy. Cause Im bad at decisions. I need a guy to lead me. Afterall, male are meant to lead. They are suppose to be leaders.

7) Rich/Poor

Rich? YAY! BONUS! Poor? Nvm, suffer together. LOL!

Because I know nuts about brands. Thus I don't need to say, to provide you with branded goods.

8) Knows how to cook

Haha! I think its rare for guys to know how to cook these days. Cause I don't know. :P

But apparently, most of the guys I like knows how to cook. But oh well, its a past.

9) Appreciative

I think its kinda of important in a relationship.

Cause I can see that if time passed, we tend to take things for granted.

10) Religious

Best its Christian. Im sorry, although bible said cannot be unyoked or smth.

But I realised that non-christians sometimes seems to have the christian qualities than the guys in church should have.

11) No/Less vulgarities

Okay, you can say it to your friends all you want.

But don't use it to me. Cause if you know me well enough.

I don't say any single vulgarities. Thank you.

12) No Smoking / Less Drinking

ER.. Actually have also I don't mind. Thinking how many ex smokes alr.

I experience worst. Drink socially but not a drunkard can alr.

Please don't keep drinking beer when you know your gonna have damn BIG BEER BELLY!

When I need reassurance in a relationship. It means that I don't trust you enough. Unless you have shown me that your gonna be faithful.

Haha! I don't know if i expect too much.
But to match these qualities. Im gonna do some self upgrading myself.

1) Beauty up. If you don't realise. A lot of ppl say looks are not impt and all. Bullshit! The real world says; I care. Eww.. you so fat.. Eww.. you so blah blah blah =.= Idiot.

2) STOP BEING LATE FOR DATES OR ANY MEETING****
Sorry, I caps it cause its so important for me to change this habit of mine.

3) Healthy lifestyle.
I need to start running and slim down.
I needa to take real good care of myself and stop falling sick.
I know you guys out there would prefer a girl without much worries.

4) Independent.
I realised Im quite dependent on people. Now I wanna learn to be independent.
You guys might be thinking; Aren't you independent enough? Without parents and you still like this and that. Yeah guys, Im strong to a certain extent. I wanna stretch myself further.

5) Less deh.
LOL! I dunno. Some people tell me that I am quite deh. Which I can't seem to understand why. Haha! Oopsssssssss. :):)

6) I dunno if there is any more of upgrading. But this should set me busy for the good 2011. :)

Yeah yeah. This year I heard a lot of rumours about me. My reputation is like was 200 percent. Now I think dropped till like 50 percent? Gosh. Haha! :) Im still great as ever. I will build it up once again.
With this 2010 ending. I think I should at least end it with all the bad things behind and start my 2011 with a better year.

Thank you new or old friends.

Defination of Best friends:

They know what are you up to.

They know when your down.

They understand your way of work.

They tell you the truth about you.

They would love to see the better you.

They will tell you if your wrong.

They won't hide anything from you.

They call you when they know something is not right.

They love the presence of you.

They helped you when you needed.

They have your number! - How do you define a friend when you don't even have their number? =.=

Core of my life

2010-12-13T16:14:00.001+08:00

Okay. This time I got to be serious with myself.

Yeah. I was emo in the morning.

Due to certain decisions I made.

The troubles that I created is hard to resolve.

Now I come to rationalize it.

Alright, bad decisions is to get relationship while studying.

I thought I could handle it.

Well, I had been setting my motivation on different guys time to time getting disappointed.

What had I been thinking man..

Bad decisions to work and study at the same time too.

Realised that I worked so hard but money doesn't come in.

First Sem: I still remember, I cried myself to school.

Hoping that I would be alright.

Second Sem: I skipped school all due to Nicholas.

Great job I have done =.=

Year 2

Sem 1: It was alright until... I set it to YL.

Sem 2: Too sad to carry on.

HOPE! What happened to you?

What had I been thinking?

They are not gonna be in your future cos they ended here in this time of your life.

They are not gonna be what you become in future.

Sorry, I havent been thinking straight until I met the core of my life.

Im at the edge.

If I fail my maths module again. Im gonna get kicked out of school.

Thus, making the decision of repeating year 2.

Im not really sure if I have made a right choice.

I know anyone reading this might be thinking. Omg!

Just carry on. Its a waste of money and time.

Yeah, this brings to the big disappointment to my brothers.

I really don't know how to face them anymore.

They worked so hard and love me so much.

Im getting ready to be kicked out of my house.

Im prepared to go through anything that is coming out of my second bro's mouth.

Im prepared to hear any negativity that my aunt and uncles gonna say.

Im prepared to hear my cousins scolding or giving up on me.

Great, well done. Aw Yan Sin.

Realised im no longer hope.

Your a disappointment to the family.

Your a disappointment to the school.

Your a disappointment to everyone who love and care for you.

I wanna repeat because I wanna to start all over again.

I know I might not have given the chance again.

I shall see whats coming for me.

I hope I didnt make a bad decision.

The problem now is I think alot and im gonna go crazy!

2010-12-11T01:56:00.003+08:00

Bought a few things yesterday, after school. Met up with YR for dinner. Pioneer MRT having some pasar malam :) Tada. :) We got these:

Two Iphone 4 pouch for $10.

Two Domo pouch for like $2.

A strawberry shortcake pouch for $1.80.

So cute right?? :):) Im loving it! :):)

Strawberry shortcake pouch for our cellgroup fund. HAHA! :):)

Finally get to see Bryan! Haha! He super funny!
He came and said: Hey! Got miss me or not?
Im like: Yeah, of course man!
Then he was like: Sure or not... LOL!

He told us that his connect group got extra gifts. :(

Knew a few new peeps today.

They said I should serve in Dialect church.

Cause the elderly see me sure super happy.

They said: Im cute, chubby, bubbly and everyone see me happy happy kind!

HAHAHA!! :):) Cannot imagine I could give these kind of impressions to ppl now :P

Got inspired by this:

You will forget what I do.

You will forget what I say.

But you will never forget how I make you feel :)

This is like soooo true!! I never forget how I felt at that day that moment. Any bad or good feelings. It remains you through life.

Ah.. Mr R. I hope everything is alright for you. Im really glad you came and find me when your sad. I hope Im able to bring that smile to you again. As I said: Im your sunshine girl :)

Whenever you see me, you will give me that great wide smile with a laugh.

Jia you okay! Your great in your school work. Everything will be alright :) Just hang on there. I will keep you in prayer. Thank you for everything you have done for me. :) Although seeing you in school, your damn evil and sacarstic. But back at home in msn always so willingly to help me, and being really really sweet to me :)

Its so sad. Cause I could msn him. He couldnt reply me :(:( I wanna talk to him and also ask for his help!
Wanted to find him on sunday for schoolwork. He told me he had to attend some wedding :(:(
Oh well, we are just not fated. Haha! :):)

Alright, back to work! Yes! This is one of the assignment! I haven put in lights yet! Its only half textured! Im so dead! :(

2010-12-09T04:19:00.008+08:00

Haha! This is so true! Why do you have to be so so cute! Its super impossible to ignore you.
Here I am. Blogging. At the same time. Trying to understand my modules so I could finish their damn assignments. Waiting for school to start though :):)

Hey people. Yeah Im attached to a girl! Im not as straight as a ruler! Haha! Nah. Its just for fun. :)
Well, I got to learn to be faithful. Only people who are close to me would understand why.
Now, my heart is not ready at all. Yeah, of course I would get affected sometimes if you know what I mean. But I did compared to the past, I did it well :) Nothing seems to affect me now.

Its my sttudies comes first.. Thank God for dearest Mr Pang. Willingly to give me extra remedial. Just for me to catch up my work. He said Im a bright girl haha! I really dunno abt that. I wonder if I could ever go to LA. I really wanna go. Its freaking 3mths. Im away from Singapore. :) I would love to go like seriously. Out of this irritating place.

In true love, there is no "I", the very first word in most expression of love. In higher love, there is no "you". What's left is only love. The love songs and casanovas - are about romantic love, which is a fickle emotion that turns to boredom, jealousy and hate all too easily.

Do you think its true? Well, there is no I only and no You. In love, there is only we. Coming together as one regardless your different characteristics. Finding that common hobby or topic that only you two could click well. A lot of times we try to compromise our livings, the way we do things for our partner.
Some think that we shouldn't do this. Some think that we should.

I wonder, whats really right? Compromise and be closer? Or don't compromise and always quarrel.

Sparks said something really hit me. I don't know if I ever blogged it.

I asked: B, why don't you wanna have a facebook?
S: Why? Do you want me to control you?
Me: Erm... No, of course not!
S: You know, if you want I can. I can go and create a facebook. We could quarrel everyday. Your status must put in a relationship with me! Y your profile pic don't have me? Must put our photo together as profile pic. Why this girl/boy comment this on your wall? Why you comment this on this girl's wall? Why this and that! Do this and that? Is that what you want? Cause thats what my friend did to his gf.

Haha! Kinda true right? Yeah yeah. You got to be understanding and all.. blah blah blah. But ask yourselves. How many a times you stalk your partner's walls or status or whatsoever.
How many times you guys quarrel over such a silly thing? :)

Alright. Back to study. FOCUS IS THE KEY NOW! :)

______________________________________________________________________________

Three things in life when gone never come back:

Time, Words and Opportunity

Three things in life that should never be lost:

Peace, Hope and Prayer

Three things in life which are most valuable:

Love, Faith and Prayer

Three things in life which are never certain:

Dreams, Success and Fortune

Three things in life that makes a person:

Hard work, Sincerity, Committment

Three things that can destroy a person:

Lust, Pride and Anger

________________________________________________________________________

IM NOT GONNA BE AFFECTED BY YOU!
Ah. The trick is. Im already am. Haha! How silly I am :)

Every morning I wake up, thinking who am I living for. Myself? God? or him?
Hmm. Its bad to put your motivator on a human.
Cause he/she would pull you down someday unexpectedly..

Like what happened to me.. Alright. Doctor, school, assignments! :) Ciaos.

2010-12-08T17:36:00.006+08:00

A SPECIAL OCCASION TODAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVEY! :):)

YOUR OFFICIALLY 29!! Hahaha! :P:P

Yeah. Old man. :) But still as hot as ever! :):)

Hope to see you soon!!

Will try my best to fly to Australia to catch you! :)

PLEASE COME TO SKYPE! ITS REALLY HARD TO GET YOU!

Misses :):)

There!! Your favorite photo :):)

Today, had mc. Im having Cough cough cough.

Eat too much good food. HAHA!

Im telling myself. No more sashimi! I wanna eat normal food.

No more high end restaurant. Expensive bills on food.

Doctor did a tongue twisting.

No cold drinks, no sweet stuff, no chilli, no milk, no oily and fried stuff.

No aircon room. No mango, no grapes (BOTH MY FAVORITES!) :(

No orange, no this and that. I looked at her. Stunned. How she speak so fast and remember so much.

Yeah. I went to this walcom tablet clinic. HAHA! She practically just write on the tablet.

So freaking high tech. So is the money man! =.=

I was clearing my desktop. Then I found this photo. This only happens when your NEW MAC MSN gone crazy. And spam your half a screen!!

Today I gotta rest. Meanwhile, editing NYP GEN photos. Get to see my eye candy. SHUAI CAN!

Too bad. Cannot post online :(:( Some policy we have with the committee. :(:(

He got freaking 6 to 8 packs! SHUAI TO THE MAX! haha!

Then I got to really find and rush my assignments. Due next week.

I got to pray to Maya God man! LOL! PLEASE DON'T CRASH ON ME!

I got to start rendering by monday. :(

Best I wanted to go school today. :(:(

I MISSED MY FENG ZHU TALK!

AND I MISSED MY OPENING FOR NYP TALK! KILL ME PLS! :(

2010-12-06T00:55:00.005+08:00

Went to watch Narnia today. Well, got to tell you its great. Visual Effects is good!
But super good matte painting. The particles in the water is also really great!! Fur simulation: Alright.
Its just really about my course. Whatever I see these kind of movies, its either you wanna spot the mistakes or understand how they do it.

Ratings : 8/10

I learnt something :) Your extraordinary, thats why extraordinary things happened to you.
Well, in life, there is always temptations. The thing is that you got to fight that temptation, that is yourself.

Delifrance with My beloved YR

Calamari Rings :) With Hot chocolate!

YES! IM STUDYING MY MATHS! GOT TEST ON MONDAY!

Met up with Apple and Ken.

Went to NYNY to eat :):) Guess whose food is whose? :)

Tada! Answers revealed!

Yeah Im eating some cesar salad. =,= Thats my dinner! :)

Getting ready for your 3D experience? Yeah! There you go! :)

The girls first!

And of course! With my senior, Ken :):)

2010-12-05T07:58:00.000+08:00

Sorry, haven't been updating. Been really tired.

Had alot of birthday celebrations. I really wanna post pictures here.

But blogger seems really difficult these days. :(

I really wanna tell you how is my day and all. :(

I think I should do something to it. Too many photos.

Too little time. Got to transfer to photobucket and all.

HATE THE NEW BLOGGER UPLOADER PHOTOS!

Cos I used up their 1GB quota of space that I could upload. =.=

Maybe changing blog. :)

Thanks for tuning in.

I haven't slept. And now Im going to school

I scare that I have a test. Yet I don't know. Im so tired. :(:(

Just a little recap.

On 28 Nov, Met up with YR. Ate Sakae Sushi. SASHIMI!

She bought her new macbook pro! Im so freaking jealous! :(

On 29 Nov, Celebrated Pearly's bday. Ate The Line at Shangri La.

Then went out to some romantic beautiful place.

Now its the high end restaurant. The Line. - Location: Shangri La :)

Phone

(65) 6213 4275

Location

Lower Lobby, Tower Wing

Dress Code

Casual

Smoking Policy

Smoking is not permitted inside the restaurant.

Monday to Friday
Breakfast Buffet : 6am to 10.30am
Lunch Buffet : 12noon to 2.30pm; Price $43
Dinner Buffet : 6.30 to 10.30pm
Supper Buffet : 10.30pm to 6am

Saturdays and Sunday
Breakfast Buffet : 6am to 11am
Brunch Buffet : Noon to 3pm; Price $78
Lunch Buffet : 12noon to 2.30pm; Price $45 (Sat) & $68 & $98 with champagne (Sun)
Dinner Buffet : 6.30 to 10.30pm
Supper Buffet : 10.30pm to 6am

Special Thursday Seafood Buffet Dinner; Price $88.

Yummy desserts :):)

Food that we eat!

Their christmas tree at Shangri-La

After the delicious meal went to Mandarin Oriental for a nice chillout place.

On 1 Dec, HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEARLY LIM! ITS GREAT TO HAVE YOU AS MY LEADER FOR 6 years! :)

Met up with Val, Liwin. :) ITS BEEN DAMN LONG 3 of us met.
Val and Liwin took out Iphone 4. Im like.... Didnt really wanna take out mine. HAHA!
Idiot :( Now all apple phone! When will it be my turn man! :(
We did alot of catching up. Really been super long since three of us meet up. Chat and chill.
Miss those times. Yeah, shouldnt rant so much though :)

At night, went zouk to celebrate Celeste Bday.

That night had a really angry experience. Not really angry. But bad. -.- Idiotic cock feast!
Girl hit two guys cock for grinding me! Thanks alot for protecting me.
I was practically stuck and I cant move much.

Apparently, YL was there. He wanted to punch tat guy though. Luckily, didnt.
Didnt wanna him get into any trouble man.
Put bad memories aside. Now its the Bday girl and us photos :)

On 2 Dec, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CELESTE! YEAH! You drank 20 shots! Woohoo! Well done! :)

On 3 Dec, Went down to police station with YR.

Ate some jap food and hagendaz! Bought Iphone 4 for YR.

This is what happens why 2 girls get bored :P
While waiting for getting Iphone 4

On 4 Dec, HAD A DAMN LONG DAY AT SENTOSA!

Then Party at Terrence's place.

Happy bday Celeste once again. :)

WOW! Guess what. Im gonna go school now. Bye :)

Just random:

Uncle Zhong came msn-ing me. Asking me am I okay or not and all.

Why Im emo and stuff. When I wasnt really feeling anything.

He was like. Hey You sure? You okay?

After awhile he confirmed. He said. Okay, Im not okay. Counsel me. LOLOL!

SUPER FUNNY GUY! LOLOL!

2010-11-26T17:10:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! Im back with a little blogging :):)
Well, first I wanna say. I wanna run away and MIA in the first thought actually. :(:(
But apparently my MIA failed. Cause I cant even stop myself from social networks stuff like MSN AND FACEBOOK!

YOSHINOYA

Apple and Me after Cg :)

Apple, Gab, and the two baptising sisters :)

NYPPC ANNUAL CAMP 2010 is finally back :):)

Im really really happy that I attended. I got to sleep in the committee's headquarter's room.
HAHA! Im suppose to be a participant. :P OOPS!
Well, they had like a table station. :):)
First night, I went for CG. before rushing down to school.
I didnt know I could just go in like that like at 12 am.
THE MOON WAS REALLY REALLY PRETTY!
But when I really wanna shoot. Its gone back up and far! :(:(

Its okay, we had tripod. To take a good shots of the stars and moon :):)

Thats all for now... I will upload the rest soon. Really ma fan and time consuming man!

2010-11-25T02:50:00.000+08:00

Talked to my beloved V. yesterday!
So much to share. So much to listen! Had been great catching up with you!

After hearing. I think I wanna declare! I wanna get a gf too!
Yeah! You didnt see wrongly. A gf. HAHA!

Val said: You are as straight as a ruler! Confirm cannot have girlfriend!
HAHAHA

Oh well, I kinda gave up on guys. They are so temperamental.
Want this and that. Im tiring of giving and giving. Haha!

I had great time with my besties. :)

Let me teach you some pick up lines :)

A: Do you have a raisin?
B: No.
A: Do you have a date?
B: Yes/No.

Awwww. So sweet right?

Alright alright.. Somemore.. Here it goes.

Can I take a picture of you?
Cause I wanna show it to Santa what I want for christmas. :)

There are a lot more. HAHA!
Shall share with you guys more.

Seriously, Steff is a really sweet person.
V, now I understand why your heart is melting every single day.
If its me, it would have melt. :):)
I totally understand your feeling. You seriously tempting me to turn to les man!!

Well, I had two weird dreams.
I dreamt that I had 3 little puppies for my bday. :)
I had an caucasian bf holding a three levels high of cake. Haha! Like it was some boss son =.=

Something tells me that He is the one.
But I told that something that He is making a mistake.
He told me: Eventually he would be that one.
If he really is: Show it to me :)

2010-11-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

Today, freaking tired and sicked day!
YEAH! Throat inflammation. Coughing alot.
Feverish and all =.= Hope pls take care. Yeah I know :)

Thanks K for entertaining me the whole day!
In the midst that everyone couldnt bother to entertain me. LOL!
No la. As in no one ever msgs me anymore.
Thats kinda sad. :(:( I know nick you would! Thanks for waking me up.
Haha! Your so sweet! I still can't accept that you have changed. :)
Thats a good thing okay!

Santa is a meanie today. Kept like showing attitude to me =.=
Irritating! :(:( Haha! Well, today had a great reward today.
Someone sang your only exception to me! SUPER NICE!
Haha! And alot alot alot alot alot alot alot of other songs.
Especially John Mayer songs on guitar. is really sex!

Thanks YH for buying breakfast for the two lazy bum of us.
HAHA! Had a fun time working with you yeah! HAHA!
AS BLUR AS AN TORTOISE CAN!
After today, its gonna be a great dream! Hahah!
Don't ask me why am I so hyper.
I don't even know if its real happiness or not.
But I just smile. Live life as it is :)

2010-11-22T12:27:00.001+08:00

There are a lot of things I wanna ask you. Seriously a lot! But I didn't dare to ask. Im afraid to hear the answers. Afraid to hear all those answers ending up quarreling again. Yeah again!

Yesterday chatted with YR for like good some time. Was really heart to heart talk. And realised no matter how much he put into effort. He is still a child within him.
Well, there is always a child within us. :)
Then we chatted some really sensitive issue like we ended up laughing and getting shocked by each other's answers :)

It was good time. I couldn't really share with anyone that close. I couldn't really feel I could talk to anyone about this issue. :) But I guess God has just placed me one. One that could understands.

Pearly said something on sat.
She told me:
A lot of people said that the people are just too judgmental.
I am who I am. I love to be who I am. Im not gonna change.

Well, the truth is. People judges you.
For the actions, you did.
For the words you said.
For the way you carried yourself.
Yeah, for a simple fact: You can't really be yourself. :(

I just got to take this time, get to know better of myself. Get to know what kind of character am I.
Whats my value. Who I wanna be. How do I wanna be when people looked at me.
There had been way too many rumours.
Im not sure if he is saying me in lots of ways: But whatever is done is done.

Just like how Martin asked me to crush a purple star infront of everyone.
Its purple! I love it! I like is a lot. I can't bear to crush it.
But I got to crush it. Yeah I did. I tried to make it back.
Its hard or probably its never be able to do that.
Great. Just like that situation.

He is a great guy. No matter what. I still feel the same.
I just got to learn to love myself even more. Change to a 10/10 person.
So to wait for my 10/10 partner.

I can't love a person if I don't love myself. Cause I wont know how to love. Right?

Alright, next thing. I wanna make more and more covers. But I can't neglect my studies.
Im just freaking stressed out. I got a lot of things to do. I can't cope. Im like on the edge of the cliff.

Well, updates updates.
If you were good enough to tune in, in this blog. You would have known I performed on Sat.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150340102435537
This is the link to the performance! :)

Pictures :):)

2010-11-22T04:50:00.002+08:00

A parody. Super funny :) Enjoy.
Thanks J for cheering me up :) HAHAHA!

2010-11-22T01:56:00.000+08:00

Worked today, was late. :( Seriously, I couldn't wake up at all! :(
Santa was pissed today. The cool YOYO guys were taking off his limelight.
So was our business affected.
Well, I was naturally hyper today.
I don't know why.
No one freaking sms me today!
I WAS BORED TO THE MAX!
Best was customer were waiting for photos.
Printer jammed and all =.= Like seriously!
There are many many more things happened today.

Well, came across this really really cool thing I saw in Jason's lovey dovey couple blog.
Haha! Pretty quite amazed by him. He is self driven and motivated. :)
Take a look at this! Haha!

BIRTH ORDER AFFECTS PERSONALITY.

Your birth order falls into one of four categories: first born, middle, last born or only. (And, if you're one of 5 children then your family has 3 "middles".) According to Popular Science here are some birth order characteristics:

First Borns: Natural Leader, High Achiever, Organized, On-time, Responsible, Energetic, Logical, Ambitious, Enterprising, Scholarly

Middle Children: Flexible, Easy-Going, Social, Diplomatic, Rebellious, Attention-seeking, Competitive, Peacemaker, Independent

Last Born: Risk takers, Outgoing, Creative, Idealist, Good sense of humor, Immature, Secretive, Sensitive, Carefree

Only Children: Mature, Dependable, Get along well with older people, Responsible, Leader, Perfectionist, High Expectations, Unforgiving. Only children tend to be a special breed in that they can share the common personality traits of any of the above 3 main birth orders. However, they are generally more aligned with the traits of the first born.

So what does this mean for your relationship?

Dr. Kevin Leman wrote the book, "The Birth Order Connection". Here's how he conceptualizes compatibility by birth order combinations:

Only child and youngest; first-born and youngest; middle child and youngest: Gender plays a role here, but for the absolute best match, pair the female only child or first-born female with a male youngest child who has older sisters.

First-born married to a first-born: If you take a look at the personality traits described above, it stands to reason that this pairing has potential for high friction. Typically both partners are head-strong, domineering, and like to be in control. A pro is that first-borns are exceptional nurturers.

First-born married to a middle child: The middle child is a superb negotiator and can thus be a good partner for almost anyone. However, the first born can be domineering and may be somewhat intimidating to the middle child. However, if the middle child has last born tendencies in his/her personality, the pairing can be a good one.

First-born married to the last-born: This relationship is an excellent combination because the two can learn from each other. The first-born can teach the last-born how to be better organized and more responsible. On the other hand, the last-born can teach the first-born to loosen up and enjoy life a little more.

Middle child married to a middle child: This pairing can go either way. If one of the middle-born partners has first-born tendencies and one has last-born tendencies, this can be a good love match. However, if both have the characteristic secretive qualities, communication can be an issue. Interestingly, this match has the least chance of marital infidelity.

Middle child married to last born: This pairing will necessitate the middle child having some of the first-born tendencies in order to be successful, and will be even better if this individual is a female. If both share the characteristic behaviors of the last born, there could be trouble in paradise, most notably the tendency to be irresponsible.

Last born married to a last born: This pairing might be a little too fun. In the long run life could become out of control without having at least one individual prone to taking charge.

Of course, family circumstance and life changes and challenges as well as individual traits effect our personality most. I consider birth order a kind of fun additional way to conceptualize the characteristics each partner brings to a relationship. What do you think of this? Where do you and your partner fit? Are you two middles? A first and last born? An only and a youngest?

LOLOL! look at last born to last born. This is so funny :):)

2010-11-21T03:00:00.000+08:00

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

The lyrics are so true. :)
Its the winner of the GATHERING OF THE STARS.
Well, over is over. I got to stop thinking anymore.
I got to just stop here.

2010-11-21T02:30:00.001+08:00

I can't remember whats my last post was.
But what I know now is that.
I just see it as an opportunity to grow. :)

Lets grow..
To become a better person.
A better Hope.

Not talking too much.
Lots of things going through my mind.
Tired and stress at the same time.
Breathless anytime soon. :)

Great performance I guess :)
Apple: You did well. Stop all the negative thoughts k? YOUR NOT UGLY AND FAT =.=

Well, maybe I should just tell myself that:
I did all I could. I did everything.
Just now, take a break.
Live my life happily. :)

2010-11-19T00:26:00.003+08:00

As usual. I didnt sleep again =.=
Im really tired.
Having really kinda bad fever.
Hope to be recovered by saturday. :)

Well, as is my flu.
Yeah! Hopey is sicked!
Im piled up with assignments.
Im getting really stressed up.

I hereby to say. Im not caring anymore.
Gonna have a super long long day tomorrow.
I hope I would have enough fun to forget memories :)

Im going off next week :)
Bye people. Don't miss me too much alright :)

OMG! OKAY! I WILL BE POSITIVE GIRL AGAIN!
Suddenly everyone starting to scold me!!
Like what???!!!???!??!? J scolded me like super super badly! :(:(
I felt sooooo bad now. Okay. No more negative stuff.
Like seriously no more okay?
What a night....

Im tired. Nights world.
Let me have some sweet sweet dream place. :)

作詞：阿信　作曲：阿信　編曲：五月天

脫下長日的假面　奔向夢幻的疆界
南瓜馬車的午夜　換上童話的玻璃鞋
讓我享受這感覺　我是孤傲的薔薇
讓我品嚐這滋味　紛亂世界的不瞭解

昨天太近　明天太遠　默默聆聽那黑夜
晚風吻盡　荷花葉　任我醉倒在池邊
等你清楚看見我的美　月光曬乾眼淚

哪一個人　愛我　將我的手　緊握
抱緊我　吻我　喔　愛　別走

隱藏自己的疲倦　表達自己的狼狽
放縱自己的狂野　找尋自己的明天
向你要求的誓言　就算是你的謊言
我需要愛的慰藉　就算那愛已如潮水

I need your hug :)
I really do.

2010-11-18T07:17:00.000+08:00

Gosh! This idiot J. Made me so excited for Jan that I cant even sleep!!!
Haha! He had so much programs in line for me.
I can't wait. I really can't wait.
But I gotta wait till mid Jan :(:(
When he is back from Korea. :)

Im having a flu now. :(:(
*Ah Chu *
God bless my day today...

2010-11-18T00:54:00.002+08:00

Today is really tiring day and sucha a cold day. :(:(
Rushed down to find YanRan for her rescue.
She is working alone in the morning shift.
Cause the new girl didn't turned up.

A stressful day for her cos today its PH.
Stressful day for me. Cos i got to run errands.

Went to meet YL and Apple.
YL was helping Apple with Accounts.
I need YL's help too. :)
Apple: Please pass your Accounts! Haha! :)
Well, sicked day. I think I caught a cold.

Ate really nice but freaking expensive jap food.
I shall not talk much.
But went to his secret hideout.
Josh, his mentor really amazing :)
Show you the photos next time.
Im kinda tired..

After expensive dinner went Taka.
Fetch that silly girl home.
Jason damn idiot =.=
Kept disturbing me.
And another guy kept being disturbed by YR.
So freaking funny! :):)

Heard this song from my ipod touch.
Kinda sound nice.
Not much feelings to it I think.
Im still fighting. Fighting everyday. :)

Thanks J. Your loved. You encouraged me. :)
He said: You have two choices:

1) you can be very upset now, and become not gorgeous, grow old very quickly, and you still wont get this guy, and u wont get other guys as well?

OR

2) you can be happy now, and stay gorgeous and young for eternity... and a few year time u can go plastic surgery if u want, to look super super gorgeous.

LOL man! Hahaha! I don't know why am I gorgeous. But yeah. Since that what he said. Then maybe I am. HAHA! :):) WEEE! :):)

As usual :)
End of the day: Joy, fun and laughter. And a little :)

At this late hour. 1:14am
I received a message from Jeremy Tan.

Hey Yan Xin!!! How was ur day? Hahas. U must b really tired I guess? Hope u are doing great! All the best for this sat :) Practice hard! :)

Next msg was:

Its my pleasure. Just keep practicing and you will get use to it. You shall have my support. Jia you!

Oh my!! Like seriously! He is sucha a sweet boy. I didn't expect this msg from him :)
As in, from my CG member. Its so sweet. :):)
I saw him today while rushing to train. He was really happy to see me!
HAHA! Thanks Jeremy. :) Im happy to have you in my CG. Your loved. :)
Really unexpected. :):) You just made my day. :)

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I

Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home, home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel

2010-11-17T01:30:00.003+08:00

This is such a nice list of character!

Its Hope in Hebrew. Haha :):)

מקווה

Well, guys out there. Like seriously.

:):)

Im just a simple girl with a simple heart.

For that simple guy to be great.
I don't need your branded goods.
Cause I know nuts about it :)

Everything to me its just details. The heart that you put it in :)

I wannaaaa tatttooo that hebrew name!

Crap. I cant tattoo :(:( But its so nice.

I think this is very true :)

There are three ways of leading life

1) Accept anything that happens - gives a average quality of life

2) Deny and get angry with things that happen and complain etc - give a horrible quality of life

3) Treat everything that happens, as a lesson, with a purpose, and have a great quality of life

Haha! I learnt from JIRO. He is really a damn positive person man! :):)
Gonna take up the challenge!

Everyday, a positive msg :):)
I wanna be a positive person so that I could be Hope to others :):)

Jiro is my godbro and is not my date. :):)
I don't know. I don't wanna get into any relationship now.
Cause I don't wanna regret anything.
I don't wanna find or hurt anyone.
Im not ready. Just not now :)
I got to sort my life out.
Got to learn lots of things before I come back settling down mode. :)

I haven really got over that memories I had. :)
Well, haha! You don't have to take care of me.
You don't have to protect me.
You don't have to keep saying sorry.
Cause I only find that your really a positive person thats why I kept talking to you :)

Well, if your the one you would be alright?
We barely known each other.
I wouldnt want anything happened like me and YL.
Which made me feel so sad and regretful.
Cause those good days didn't last.

I learnt my lesson.
I really did.
I didn't wanna to do the same thing again :)

See you in Jan! Muahah! :)

25 yrs old seems to be a common age for settling down :)

2010-11-16T23:42:00.000+08:00

Lydia Wantstovisitkorea THope Aw

Dear Hopey ;D , You have a cute DSLR lens cap :) . If we were in a room together I would marvel at your guitar skills and take pictures :). Me and you should go eat together sometime :). If you hugged me I would hug you real tight :). You are awesomelyenergeticallygainingfrequencylovelydowntoearthjoyousandhappyand justgenerallysomeonethatgivesme hope.Someone i look up to :). I'd get your name tattooed on my face:D . You have just been dared to make this your status. YEAH! :)

Omg.. This is what Lydia wrote to me. I felt so so so touched and sweet :):)
Its so sweet. :):) Haha. If you cant see the long string of words. Its actually;

You are awesomely, energetically, gaining frequency, lovely, down to earth, joyous and happy and just
generally someone that gives me hope. Someone I look up to.

Hahaha! Oh my. Unexpected. :):) But thanks a lot girl :):)

Today had been a real tiring day.. I had to rushed to work straight after school.
Met James. Haha! I just realised my school have a mini challenger. HAHA! :):)
James was really nice to me while I was working in Challenger at IMM. :):)

Well, everyday seems to be a surprise to me yeah. :)
I don't expect much. Just your smile, your love to me will do :)
Im easy to please :)

2010-11-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

Well, sadly. The Hands All Over album seems to be quite a sad album now.

Although the whole album reminds me of him. He would be reminded of me.

Best is that. The two favorite songs of mine now are the saddest song in the album.

So its his. Quite sad huh. The times we spent, we had quite lots of good memories.

Just loving each other presence. Now, its all over. Within a mth and a half.

Pretty fast... Pretty fast falling with each other. So also to fall out.

Just a feeling, everything is just a feeling now..

Jiro said: When your single, the night comes, you would have this sense of abandonment.

Yeah, I seriously agreed. :) Thus, YR is in my house. On my bed. To kill this thing away

To let the silence creeps die off. :)

I watched you cry

Bathed in sunlight

By the bathroom door

You said you wished you did not love me anymore

You left your flowers in the backseat of my car

The things we said and did have left permanent scars

Obsessed depressed at the same time

I can't even walk in a straight line

I've been lying in the dark no sunshine

No sunshine

No Sunshine

She cries This is more than goodbye

When I look into your eyes

You're not even there

It's just a feeling

Just a feeling

Just a feeling that I have

Just a feeling

Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over

You've hit your low

You've lost control and you want me back

You may not believe me but I gave you all I have

Oh just confess that you're still mine

I roll around in a bed full of tears

I'm still lying in the dark no sunshine

No sunshine

No Sunshine

She cries this is more than goodbye

When i look into your eyes you're not even there

It's just a feeling

Just a feeling

just a feeling that I have

Just a feeling

Just a feeling that I have

No I can't believe that it's over now baby

So much to say

It's not the way she does her hair

It's the way she seems to stare right through my eyes

And in my darkest day when she refused to run away

The love she tried so hard to save

It's just a feeling

Just a feeling

just a feeling that I have

Just a feeling

Just a feeling that I have

It's just a feeling

Just a feeling

just a feeling that I have

Just a feeling

Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over (X3)

Tell me actions speak louder

But there's something about her words that hurt

Clothes on the bed, so late and

I'm the last one still waiting for ya to lock the door

On our way home I realise

There's some kind of storm brewing in his eyes

Only veiled by a thin disguise

Now that I've done my time

I need to move on and I need you to try

Cos we're out of goodbyes

We're out of goodbyes, out of goodbyes

Never asked you to change

But sadly you don't feel the same about me

I wonder does your man still shudder when you touch his hand

Like this man

On our way home I realise

There's some kind of storm brewing in his eyes

Only veiled by a thin disguise

Now that I've done my time

I need to move on and I need you to try

Cos we're out of goodbyes

We're out of goodbyes, we're out of goodbyes

2010-11-16T03:00:00.001+08:00

Today was great day!! :):)

Haha! Had a great day today :):)

Finally I worked with YR today.

Haha! We had great fun and with our daily Santa.

Haha! I can feel the connection and the bond :)

HAHA! So sweeeeet :):)

Well, a little bored.

I didnt expect we were so pathetic.

Didnt have enough to eat at all :(:(

Sorry girl, I wish Im rich :)

Then we wont have to be like today.

Lucky korkor came back.

Asked him for some cash and bought dinner :)

Today WJ damn funny!

I got his fb through May. LOL!

Cause I couldnt find it LOL!

I told him that i learnt the song Misery.

haha! He went to practice singing. haha!

Maybe we would have cover. Maybe yeah? :)

I can't wait for saturday performance actually.

haha! Must have confidence :):)

Well, jiro dedicated a song to me today. :)

Its like a daily thing lol!

First time he sent me a song called Sha Gua by Wen Lan :)

Then now its this Perfect day by Susan Boyle. :)

Haha! So sweet! Read the lyrics :)

Just a perfect day
Drink sangria in the park
And then later, when it gets dark,
We’ll go home

Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later a movie too,
And then home

Oh it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on x2

Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It’s such fun

Just a perfect day
You make me forget myself
I thought I was someone else
Someone good

You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow

Thank God for today. I had much fun and laughter.

Much love I guess.

Although I might not have anyone to love,

to be loved.

But at least things are happening in my life making me busy

Forgetting that past.

2010-11-15T03:09:00.000+08:00

Thank you W516 for coming over my house.
I was practically shagged out.
By the series of events and also sleepless nights.

Been sleeping at 6am these days. =.=
Waking up way earlier than YR.
My body has come to ... Im collasping soon.

Yesterday went church.
I felt Im in the season of winter.
Well, im waiting for the season of spring to come.
Its bleeding vines period.
Yeah, I bleed a lot in my heart. Bleeding love.
Well, I know! My spring is coming.

Everything happens for a reason.
I believed I will grow, am growing, still growing :)

I kinda learnt a lot from my past relationships.
I learnt to be patience, understanding.
Trust is important.
Stop having wild thinkings and guesses.
Have a higher self esteem :)
Lies breaks relationships.
Honesty is the key too.
End of the day, sometimes truth hurts.
But its part of the growing process.

When you go through these hurts.
You learn, you understand, you acknowledge your weakness.
You made a decision to change and thats when you start to grow mature. :)

HEY! How did you ever get this enlightenment.
I don't know. Just how I feel now :)
Maybe its just God. He is with me all the time.

After church, practice songs. OKAY!
IM FREAKING SCARE AND NERVOUS!
I got to keep practicing.
Despite her exams, my workload and school work.
We gonna shine shine shine!

I LEARNT HOW TO PLAY MISERY!
Omg! Im freaking happy!
John mayer songs really damn difficult. :'(
I hope on my performance, Zon's guitar wont give me any problem :(
After showcase, ate at rooftop.
Everyone came my house for mahjong. Haha!

Jeremy so cute. He said, huh.. But I always lose leh.
YR tell him: Its okay, we need you these kind of ppl. HAHAH!
HOW EVIL! hahhahaha!

Well, I can see it in Zon's face.
A simple sms made him smile so wide.
The anxious of that girl's sms what is it gonna be abt.
What is she gonna send.
Is she gonna sms me?
Haha! I did have that. But not anymore.

Its okay, I had quite a number of sms everyday. :)
Played monopoly deal, mahjong and abit of wii.
MY WII SPOILED! IDIOT! :(
Had some crazy shots and jumping shots.
JEREMY CAN BE BALLERINA! Like seriously.
Find out why, at my facebook photos HAHA!

Thanks for helping me with packing of my room.
Now my room is fill with clean air, nice spots. Nice bed.
To sleep in, to rest, to meditate. :)

I see hope is everywhere.
See everyday as an opportunity to be better.
So you never miss a thing :)

Jia you Hope! You will shine you will shine!
In guitar or whatever. Just jia you! :):)

I had a freaking long day.
Mahjong ended at 3am.
Supper at 4am.
Slept at 5am.
Woke up at 8am.
Went work all the way to work till 9.30pm
12 hrs of standing and serving santa claus. ( which had some little stress )
Oh yeah, thanks Uchi for the mocha drink and the food! :)
Uchi is the Santa Claus boss. Treat us good :)

Of course must thank my beloved YR for waiting for me to off work :)
Got to know this shotgun couple.
They are really sweet and nice ppl, young but funny.
Cant imagine how much stress they went through.
But really proud of them.
Sometimes when you think you are feeling bad.
There are always alot of other ppl worst than you.
Situation are worst than you.
But they chose to live it happier, look at the situation in another perspective.
Try to work around solutions than the problems.

We bought some sushi back at a half priced.
This time our santa claus could speak proper english.
I finally could understand what is he trying to say.
HAHA! AND HE IS FREAKING TALL! =.=
Well, I was the one kept adjusting his costume.
He was like OHOHOH! Thanks mummy =.=

After sushi, we were like.
Lets pack the room.
YEAH! MY ROOM IS PACKED! PACKED!
CLEAN! CLEAN!
CLOTHES IN PLACE! :):)

Im officially tired to the max.
Thank you everyone who made my day.
I had two good colleagues that were crazy
And love to bully me =.=
Well, I enjoyed today.
The way it is despite im tired.

To Jiro :) I realised your really everytime positive yeah!
Thanks for all the encouraging sms :)
Sorry cant go korea with you :(

And to WJ. Thanks ar! I wanna take back my contract with you!
HAHAHAA!! See you soon dancer! :)
Thanks for all the crazy and prompt sms. Haha!
Your a great friend I must say :)

2010-11-13T14:06:00.001+08:00

I thank God for Him.
I thank God for ah pa for being my dad. :)
I thank God for my two brothers for stepping down on their role to take care of me :)

I thank God that he sent ppl around me to take care of me.
I thank God that he would sent someone to protect me whenever I needed.

This morning, bro knocked the door asked for breakfast.
Saw YR sleeeping like a pig.
Quickly closed the door.

Next moment, bro heard I knocked down my guitar.
Came into my room.
Saw YR sleeping like a pig.
Quickly closed the door.

Hahaha!! YR, you scared my bros away huh!

Played monopoly deal with my second :)
Its great. 1 week didnt see or talk to my kors.
Feell horrible..

But I love my life now.
I might not be rich
Might not have someone to love or be loved.
At least i know, Im always loved.

OH NO!
Later showcase. Im freaking scare!

My monopoly deal!! :):)

Church time :):)

Fellowship at my house.

LOLOL! FLYING BUDDHA

2010-11-13T04:12:00.002+08:00

I love the way you move.
I love the way you smile.
I love the way you talked to me.

Thats all.
For tonight.
Not speaking much.

2010-11-11T23:29:00.001+08:00

It was a great day with a great night :)

11.11 date :) Had you have your wish?

Whats my wish? I think I didnt really wish for anything.
Just wish that I would feel hopeful once again?
Feel loved once again :)

Well, one week didnt go school now.
I didnt mean to skip it.
Kinda not well though.
Voice disappearing. Like that how to sing next week!

Sat is gonna be the showcase.
Im a little stressed out :(:(
Im not meeting apple until like sat?

Well, despite sick I have my own problems :(
Got to find him to get some cash.
Went down with YR to find him :)
At least she is with me I guess.

Ate until.... SUPER FULL!
Almost cannot walked.
But it was a great lunch with great company.
Great laughs and all :)
It was enjoyable.

The feeling of something inside your wallet and its one BIG note.
Its really... one word : Shiock.
After we left..
YR told me something real funny.
I laughed from the place we left till our destination :)
Not gonna say :)

But it would be gone today. :(
Well, after which went work.
Work and find girl.
V. I miss you a lot.

Lots of things had happened.
Thanks for being there. :)
Time to ransack your house soon yeah. :)
Its great seeing you. :):)
Thanks for being sucha great friend for 10 yrs and still counting. :)

Well, great company at night at Timbre.
With great music. Great friends :)
Your body is a wonderland :)

Haha! I will tell you what.
I wanna be les. Im freaking serious.
Guys are... no longer in my list I guess. :):)
Should I should I??
But I wonder which girl would like me man!

On the cab :)

Yummy food!

YanRan's :)

Joke of the day for Jiawen

Jiawen's dinner

YANRAN working LOL! Pink shirt. :)

Our lovely santa :)

Timbre time.

Thats all :):)

2010-11-11T13:44:00.000+08:00

Safari really sucks! =.=

I didnt go again! What the crap...
I wonder whats J doing.
Okay, after all the hurts I felt.

I felt he was the only one the most practical.
Most loving guy after all.
Although don't have the lovey dovey words out of them.
But there are alot in him to explore.
The one who protect me like an guardian angel.
Too bad, I wasnt mature enough to understand him yet.
Now I know, I understand.
But its all too late. :)

Okay, I woke up with a sweet sweet dream
I dreamt of him and me.
Holding hands walking down the streets.
Just like the sweet old times.

Don't ask me why am I dreaming of him.
I don't know either.
Yesterday also.
He was the first that came up on my mind.

Haha! Don't worry. The feelings are just a feeling now.
Its over. :):)
Cause Ive seen it.
Seen through it :)
That it wouldnt work out.

All these are just a feeling :)

What should I do today?
Study? Play Guitar?
YR is working today.
Hopefully she could survive the 1 mth plus :)

JIA YOU GIRL! Its only 1 day!
Don't give up okay! :):)

2010-11-11T01:29:00.001+08:00

Craid David - Sorry, I Just Don't Love You No More.

Reminds me...
Just happened to hear it on my ipod touch.

Although we have not known each other for years.
But yeah. :)
This song really speaks my mind out.
You made it clear when you said; I just love you no more.

Great, after this song was that song that you were good at it.
Sang it over skype practising.
After which was the song Fall for you that I played to you.

WAH! Instant memories came back.
Well, this time its really goodbye.

MouYanRan :( Tonight your not here with me.
Im already emo-ing abit. HAHA!
Come back tomorrow. Your missed, loved.

For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately
you've been acting so cold (didn't you say)
if there's a problem we should work it out
so why you giving me the cold shoulder now
like you don't want to talk to me girl (tell me)
okay I know I was late again

I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
but why you making this thing drag on so long (I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
it's not me who's been going round slamming doors

That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it's too late to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

I know that I've made a few mistakes
but never thought things would turn out this way
doesn't make sense to me now that you're gone (I see it all so clearly)
me at the door with you in a state
giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face

That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it's too late to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
you made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

Those simple words hit so hard
they turned my whole world upside down
girl you caught me completely off guard
on that night you said to me
I just don't love you no more

Rain outside my window pouring down
what now, you're gone, my fault, I'm sorry
feeling like a fool cos I let you down
now it's too late to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I've made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

2010-11-10T12:22:00.000+08:00

Well, it probably the end of the year soon.
Its the third day I didnt manage to go to school.

Im still sicked from that idiotic flu :(

A lot of ppl kept asking me, Hey, how are you feeling?

Well, Im pretty fine I guess.
I needa a break. Wanna have a holiday.
Suppose to be cruising.
But I guess I can't make it.
Maybe phuket? Batam? Small islands? Thailand?

Wanna go with my gfs. Val, YR and all.

Sometimes I asked why. Why do I still have dreams of him..
Its like God is not really giving me a break.
Not forgetting the hurts that came along.

Hey, Im not emo-ing.
Just.. You will still tend to miss him?
You will still tend to wanna msg him asking him hows everything?
You will still have the urge to tell him your always here for him no matter what happens?
These kinda feelings takes time to go away.
It would..

But well, its over.

Today gonna study and do my assignments.
Gonna accompany YR to work.

Wait up a minute.
I still needa a doctor. =.=
This is not gonna work. 3 days off from school.

2010-11-10T03:54:00.002+08:00

Kid's Prayer Cover.

MY FIRST EVER VIDEO! :):)

Kid's Prayer

I WANT TO KNOW YOU LORD
YOU ARE A GREAT BIG GOD
I'M YOUNG AND DO NOT KNOW A LOT
COME AND BE MY ALL

I WANT TO LOVE YOU MORE
GIVING YOU MY LIFE AND ALL
YOU DIED FOR ME
YOU'VE SACRIFICED
I WON'T FORGET YOU LORD

I LOVE YOU JESUS
I'LL GROW UP KNOWING YOU
I LOVE YOU JESUS
I'LL GROW UP SERVING YOU
I LOVE YOU JESUS
MY LIFE IS SAVED BY YOU
I'LL NEVER FORGET
NEVER FORGET
I'LL GROW UP LOVING YOU

Please please give me comments :):) Love you readers :)

Qing Fei De Yi's Cover

Sorry for my seriousness =.=
I should learn to smile and practise more.

We were rushing off. :(:(

Will do a better one the next time one.

Thank you all.
You guys have been my support these days. :)

======================================================

OMG! ITS FREAKING 4am.

YR AND ME ARE LAUGHING LIKE MAD! LOLOLOL!

We shall not share the fun. BUT ITS REALLY FUNNY!

IM HAVING TUMMYACHE!

2010-11-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

Updates updates.
IM SICKED :):)
Y smiley face when Im sicked?
Don't know why too.

But I woke up with a smile. :)
Finally when I woke up there are msgs on my phone :)
Not from anyone special. Just people who cared for me :)

Though hearing the tummy rumbling, feeling all uncomfortable.
Can't finish like half the food. :(
But I still made an effort to made my day.

Went to doctor's yesterday and today.
Kinda shocked that it only cost me 5 bucks. :)

YR saw this on twitter. :)

He said: Do you like my handsome face or sexay body.
She looked at him up and down.
Then answered: I like your sense of humor. HAHA!

I was laughing like mad :)
Decided to post on facebook.
Didnt expect so many people to like it. HAHA!

Don't know why we kept talking abt funny jokes.

Storytime! :)

===================================================
Teacher asked student: Have you ever seen God?

Student said: No.

Then teacher said: Then there is no God.

Student then asked Teacher: Teacher, have you ever seen your brain?

Teacher said: No.

The student stood up and packed his things.

He said: Lets go class, our teacher has no brain.

=======================================================

Haha! :):)
Hope I entertained you a little here.
Im not sure why am I so happy today. :)
But Im glad my darkness and emotions time had gone :)

Went to cut my hair! Guess how much? :)
6 bucks only. HAHA! :)
YanRan introduced me to some home salon :)

After which YR and her friends went to catch a concert by Shi Yi's bf.
Then I had got to practice with Apple for our performance next week.
This sat got rehearsal. OH NO!

Im stressed up now actually.
I scared I play wrongly. I need to learn tabs
I need to finish my assignment! :(:(

Jia you Hope! This week chiong chiong chiong!
There is a showcase this coming sat.
God, save me.

Gonna edit video and post up on youtube.
Stay tune :)

I Just called to say I love you - Stevie Wonder :):)

No New Year's Day to celebrate
No chocolate covered candy hearts to give away
No first of spring
No song to sing
In fact here's just another ordinary day

No April rain
No flowers bloom
No wedding Saturday within the month of June
But what it is, is something true
Made up of these three words that I must say to you

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

No summer's high
No warm July
No harvest moon to light one tender August night
No autumn breeze
No falling leaves
Not even time for birds to fly to southern skies

No Libra sun
No Halloween
No giving thanks to all the Christmas joy you bring
But what it is, though old so new
To fill your heart like no three words could ever do

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care, I do
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care, I do
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart,
Of my heart

I just called to say I love you
I just called to say how much I care, I do
I just called to say I love you
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart, of my heart,
Baby of my heart

2010-11-09T03:26:00.000+08:00

Thank you.
I missed chatting with you.
I missed the times we had.
I missed you quite a bit.

Sorry, I didnt treasure you.
Sorry, I didnt managed to change while I was with you.

But come to think about it.
Actually your the best.
The most practical guy I ever seen.
The most lovely guy.

Just that at that time I didnt see it.
Im sorry, I made you lost trust in love.
But I hope you would find someone worthy for your love.

Im happy to hear that your finally could go home after 5pm.
Cause I remembered, you don't have time for me at all.
Your work last you like more than 24 hrs sometimes.

I remembered. Your hug is the best! :)
Teddy bear! Hahaha!

Thank you so much. Your a pleasure in my life. <3

2010-11-09T02:21:00.002+08:00

Not feeling so good.

Well, whats done has be done.

Don't look back.
Move on. Move on.

Girl, lets survive tonight.
We will